Water...

I did a integrated family systems model exercise this morning for 10 minutes. It took me most of the 10 minutes to get quite. I've had for several years an extremely difficult time every time I see a homeless person. I'm over-whelmed with pity and empathy, but healthy compassion does not seem to emerge very comfortably. So this mental exploration trip into the person-hood of that part of me that feels compassion, the want to help, was most fascinating. My goal was simply to be present with that part of me. No criticism. A loving acceptance and a willingness to get to know this part of me. I'm scared of it in many ways. I often experience feelings of helplessness, over-identification, empathy that goes down the wrong the roads of seeing myself in that person's shoes, which has a small measure of value, but there comes a point that I re-coil, and begin criticizing, I flee the part that gets to identifying the emotional implications of a destitute life. Destitute ...

Looking back over the last year, these three characters have emerged in my journey.  Each represents a part of me.  In early 2013 I'd been working through Integrated Family Systems with my counselor.  Therapy is different for all people.  For me applying things like this model seem to help me process and gain remarkable ground toward wholness.  This model integrates nicely with the Parent, Adult, Child model, that a lot of therapist use as a foundation for the analogies of therapy. The following characters I'll develop a bit more.  Some are just names for the wise, adult part of our consciousness.  That part of our beingness that may have been repressed by others, but it was always there and made wonderful decisions when counseled. My life will always be a journey of integration.  These parts are not multiple personalities, they are parts of the whole me.  They rise from time to time.  Some may still be discovered.  Each play sp...

Here is a self-study of some internal "character's" that I'm getting to know.  If you think this is strange language, it's helpful to understand the ideas found in  "Internal Family Systems Models" by Richard C Schwartsz.    I'm crafting these stories for my own healing. . . .  2/18/2013 Worrying rose early this morning.  Feeling lost, well in the last slumbers of this morning, worry saw the stars twinkling.  It heard a critical voice call.  Still enjoying a warm bath, he looked into the depths of the universe and caught a glimpse of the swirling beauty.  It was a short-lived glimpse.  Almost immediately the glimpse past.  Next he figured out an explanation, then felt unable to come up with a viable plan to explain what that glimpse was.  So worry now showered, rested, sits and views the grader of the mountains.  The morning dawn plays at the horizon.  Its breath taking.  Washing away the worrisome fear...