Think of a situation where surprisingly you were included. You were the one on the outside looking in, and suddenly that changed. You were offered the gift of participation. You became an actor. What were the factors that made the difference for you?
Cultural taboos comes up for us when we touch this aspect of human reality. We know inside that we can't be agreeable, lovely, acceptable, to all people, all the time. We are not these things to ourselves a lot of the time.
Here would be the point. How inclusive am I of all my own fractured parts? How willing am I to hold space for the uncomfortable sides of myself? The ones that I put down, keep down, hold down, even exile.
Is it possible that the first steps toward a brighter, more caring, healthier planet starts with knowing ourselves? To practice inclusivity of all our broken parts could provide the key to lasting changes that seem so far out of reach. This is a mutual challenge.
The self-created walls protect suspect monsters that live on the other side of those walls. Why do we do this? Are aspects of human nature really that untamable? Do we house an undiscovered ally behind a security barrier?
The self is opened to new possibilities of interacting with it's various wounded parts when nothing is off-limits to talk about, to examine, to prob, to explore. We don't do this more because homeostasis keeps things near balance point. We fear, viscerally fear, being thrown out of balance. What would happen though if we'd take down just a bit our guard? Would that enable things to stay in balance while we explore?
Could a slightly less restive stance might open up just enough space for one of the "perceived" monsters to be seen as a potential ally. Since I don't put my energy into the hate story, I might have energy to hear the story of the exiled member. Instead of making sure the door is looked, I could make sure the door is unlocked and open.
I could place a welcome mat, set a chair, get the coffee and or tea ready for the "invited" guest. I could sit down and expectantly wait for reciprocation. After all, are we not exploring components of the same inner person? Where/Who in actuality is the enemy?
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Attention turns to real-world problems: Racism has deep roots. I think that self-hatred keeps the outward hatreds alive. Too bad we could not just raise the level of the water so to speak, so the rapids would be less treacherous. We might all get our canoes more safely down the river. Maybe the rapids are an illusion, self-created, and perpetuated by the majority.
All lives matter, and especially those lives who have culturally been hated and outcasts of society---those who have been viewed as less-than: black lives, gay lives, trans lives, Jewish lives, Roma lives, Native American lives, Armenian lives, Wegar lives---almost any minority group throughout human history, ones that I did not list, that should have been listed.
It's a pernicious thing for those of privilege to admit wrong-doing. Conveniently, and dangerously after the facts, it hardly seems genuine. It's been at great expense to those asking for our recognition. It's sickening to me. I'm white. I'm privileged. As a cis gay man, I'm part of this majority-minority that oppose basic human rights. The enemy? Humanity can't be the enemy. I'm human. They are human. Am I opposed to myself?
Catching self-reflections is one way to tag this illusive topic. I might look outwardly and I could look inwardly.
Honest self reflection opens us to vulnerabilities and with that examination comes the chance that what we find will force us to deal with the things we have avoided. And that, my friend, can require us to make changes in our views and behaviors- which is very uncomfortable indeed.
ReplyDeleteThank you opening the thinking, self reflection and dialogue!