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[I'm] worth figuring out!

Reading Siegel's "Brianstorm"....comprehensive and accessible.  Worth reading.



There is a cartoon titled: "Your worth figuring out!" (Siegel: "Brainstorm, pg 167).  Observation of the internal mind-space is a helpful journey for me.
I'm better for the effort.  I'm finding even a bit to be thankful for.  I think my old habit of prayer was a simplistic, beginning lesson in a form of inner thoughtfulness.  Unfortunately, there is little to guide the adherent toward self-awareness or self-discovering in the context of my old thinking patterns when it came to the subject of Prayer.

I remember owning a very thick book on the topic of prayer.  I only remember that it was full of crap about self-effort, and "faith" to achieve imaginary results.  A 500 page palm reading book would have been more fun to read.  In-spite of a massive amount of wasted ink and paper on the topic of prayer, the more modern adage of, "Nothing fails like prayer" is accurate.  I'm thinking of the application of this statement to senseless wishful thinking that puts the person in a place of thinking he's achieving something by praying.  How will a monologue in and a vacuum ever do one iota of good?

Inner reflection, may do some good, that's where I think my "prayer" habit may have led the way by accident to some space to think.  Even though, at least in my experience, prayer was supposed to be this power-house experience of bending heaven and earth together, it was a small escape for me from performing.  It was impossible to maintain a "high-power" level of excitement for very long.  After a while I'd run out of things to imagine and would peter out to some kinda of a semblance of what I now actually find healthy--quite introspection.  Space to observe.

For the most part, my "habit" was a total loss, except for those moments, scary moments back then, when I accidentally fell into mindfulness.  At the time I thought my mind was wondering, that Satan was distracting me.  Wow! How senseless.  Mindfulness holds so much appeal now.  Self-actualization, self-empowerment mindfulness is key to my well-being.

I think the whole of my existence will center on the thrill of the journey: living, understanding, feeling, accepting, exploring, savoring the journey of life.  Mindlessness, well I think, that I've had enough of that form of living.  I still long for predictability, security, but truth is non of these states are that permanent, and likely lead to boredom.

I'm worth figuring out!

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