Water...

Here is a self-study of some internal "character's" that I'm getting to know.  If you think this is strange language, it's helpful to understand the ideas found in "Internal Family Systems Models" by Richard C Schwartsz.   I'm crafting these stories for my own healing. . . .    "Teach yourself to work in uncertainty"  Bernard Malamud This rough draft was started 2/15/2013.  Today is 4/16/2020 (major edits are highlighted in  orange ).  A bit more than seven years ago. The single lesson for me at this time might be:  accepting any internal goodness.  To look within for new reserves of loving acceptance--I've not done so as often as needed this week.  The feelings and emotions have been strong.  Inside, what do/did I find?  A big mess.  A society of emotions and feelings that simply got out of hand.  I had a riot on my hands--I think.  What soothes me? ...

Shadow grief... Ideas casting shadows across mindscape. Figures of phantoms and reality. Covid-19 stark, glaring. Imagining 27 kilo bases, unthinkable rising death statistics. Shadowed faces, masking tight lips. Emotions responding Tapping survival instincts Ramping up heightened sensitivities Shadow-fear lengthening penumbra of horror. Numbers are people. Ghastly shadows stacking up one on another. Mute our collective grief, people do die everyday, Do they die at this rate per day? Dancing headlines-- Yesterday’s toll, the bells don’t tell. Today’s dead swelling. Some draw air deeply thoughtlessly exhaling--- Others fighting drowning sipping---at last breath becomes air---forever. The lonely longing digital shadow arms embracing loved ones across the chasms. Human nearness and touch a misty memory. Dark multiplying gliding shadowy specters of terror and aloneness. Young and old slipping beyond reach. Suffocating lungs do not really breathe. M...